Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Demon Dental Hygenist

Big mistake not rescheduling my missed dental appointment for my routine cleaning.
My regular hygienist, may she be blessed upon the earth, was unavailable.
I was scheduled with "Robin" who told me I could call her "Blue Jay."
(She told me this while giggling.)
I now suspect she was hitting the laughing gas before I arrived.
Disclosure: I detest going to the dentist. I can't stand the little scrapey sharp thing on my teeth and I'm not committed to flossing so the hygienist has to use the little scrapey thing a lot. But my regular hygienist knows this and treats me with tender loving care and in exchange I say "God Bless You" (although it sounds more like "Od Esch Ooo") numerous times while I'm in the dentist's chair.
Not so much was I saying that with "Robin."
Many times was I flinching and saying "AAAHHGGG!"
She told me she thought I was overly sensitive.
I said "I ON'T INK O!" (I don't think so.) It was hard to articulate while my blood and saliva were dripping over my lips and her fingers.
It was a bad day.
And y'all gonna have to pray fervently 'cause the xrays showed I have two cavities. My cute dentist (who, at some point, will have to be informed about this sadomasochistic hygienist) told me that they are "little cavities." I said that I will need to be drugged to the teeth (no pun intended) to get back into the dentist's chair. I told him that I will need to be drooling before I ever get into the chair.
Help me, Lord!


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