Saturday, December 1, 2007

Week of Miracles

We have had some miracles happening around here! My wonderful husband planned an amazing birthday for me. He was bummed that he couldn't get us into a Greek Cooking Class but at the last minute, someone dropped out and we were able to go. We had a blast. And then we were able to get a hard-to-find video game system for the kids for Christmas, which was cool, but the greatest miracle of all:
Oh yeah, we be goin' to The Best of Both Worlds Tour Concert!
When we told our daughters, they both screamed and then burst into tears.
My husband cried, too.
It was the sweetest thing, ever.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Mugs in my cupboard

Okay, St. Casserole, Here you go. Seven mugs in my cupboard:
1) "Does This Pulpit Make My Butt Look Big?" --probably my favorite--a 40th birthday gift from Susan Olsen
2) A Harley-Davidson mug
3) A beautiful black mug with a picture of the Creation Window from the Washington National Cathedral
4) A bright yellow, red, and blue mug with a cartoon cat and cow jumping over a moon
5) An "Angel Face" mug that was a gift from a good friend
6) A pretty wide-mouthed Japanese looking mug that was part of a Starbucks Gift basket
7) A heavy "World's Best Coffee" mug that has a picture of Warner Bros Tazmanian Devil on it.

We also have lots of mugs from drug companies. I try not to use them because I don't especially like thinking of Monostat and Estrogen first thing in the morning. Maybe for the second cup but not for the first one. I'm just sayin'.

Love and Happy Thanksgiving to all!


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Random Things About Me

Because my favorite Saint did this (Saint Casserole,) I'll do it also. But if Saint Casserole jumped off a bridge, I wouldn't. Unless we were both attached to bungee cords. Which I really can't see happening. Then again....
Here are 10 random things about me:

1. I have never bungee jumped (although I have gone parasailing twice.)
2. I can still recite the greek alphabet.
3. I love watching the shows on "Bravo", even the trashy ones.
4. Women (or men) who decorate their homes with geese with bows on their necks make me uncomfortable.
5. I drink a diet Rockstar (almost) every day at 10 am. 8:30 on Sundays while I'm getting ready for church.
6. My favorite color is turquoise. I also really like Sherwin Williams "inventive orange."
7. My I-pod has an incredibly eclectic collection of music on it.
8. Playing Freecell is my favorite way to waste time.
9. My gay best friend decorates my house for every holiday and I love him for it.
10. Cooking is my second favorite stress-relieving activity.

If you've read this all the way to here, it's your turn!


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Snowflakes and Scuba Diving

Help me, Lord.
I saw the first snowflakes of the season today.
When I initially moved to this tundra some twelve plus years ago, the sight of snowflakes was exhilarating! I was raised on the Gulf Coast. Hurricanes, yes. Snow? Not so much. Now when I see snow I think "Ugh. Here we go again."
My reaction to hearing that a snowstorm is coming is not unlike my reaction to hurricane warnings: head to the grocery store and buy ingredients for chili and stock up on milk, bread, eggs, and toilet paper. (And maybe cheetos.) I make the chili, make sure we have batteries in the flashlights, and settle in with the kids and pets. We have a generator and my wonderful husband takes care of procuring the oil and gasoline it requires on account of it makes too much noise and has far too great a potential for exploding for me to touch.
Fortunately, the snow we have today will not likely accumulate so I have time to think distracting thoughts about things like scuba diving. Last February I went to Palau, Micronesia to scuba dive, and it was beautiful. Seeing the snowflakes just reminds me of how much I want to be in the warm waters of the Pacific ocean again watching sea turtles, eagle rays, fish of every shape and size, and sharks. So it's time for me to start doing some advance planning because looking forward to a dive trip helps me endure the winter. Anyone want to join me?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Oppositional Disorder

I have oppositional disorder. My main concern with starting a blog was that then I would have folks who expected me to post regularly and who would be disappointed in me if I didn't. I prefer for people to have very low expectations of me and then I blow them away by following through in an unanticipatedly fabulous way. Fortunately, very few people read my blog so this hasn't been an issue.
It's not that I don't like playing by the rules. Sometimes, actually usually, I do. I just like to be the one who decides when to play by the rules and when to break the rules. I don't mind folks knowing that I have an incredibly high double-standard. I think it goes hand in hand with the oppositional disorder.
Pray for me.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007


I went to a small restaurant in a tiny Midwest town. I had been having some anxious moments driving through cornfields (well, I wasn't actually driving THROUGH cornfields--I was driving on a highway with cornfields all around. I couldn't believe how flat it was!) I realized that I am definitely an urban-dweller. Anyway, lemme just say: the pie in that part of the country was amazing. Beyond good. Heavenly.
Strawberry-rhubarb, banana cream, coconut cream, french silk, toll house, peanut-butter chocolate ribbon, triple-berry, apple caramel, lemon meringue, and the list went on. I am not usually a desert orderer. I am, however, a desert sharer. Being like many Southern women, I just need a taste of something sweet after a meal--I don't need a whole desert for myself. The pie at this restaurant was so good that for about 4 minutes I weighed out the pros and cons of moving out of a city in the Northeast and to a tiny town in the Midwest.
I think instead I just need to cultivate some friendships with excellent pie-makers who are willing to share recipes.
Anybody out there?
Waiting with fork in hand and glass of milk the ready...

Sunday, October 7, 2007


That may be exaggerating a bit. But for me, the fact that my beautiful step-daughter (BSD) finished the marathon today made it a photo finish. Especially since the marathon was cancelled 4 hours and 30 minutes into it due to record-breaking temperatures (and, we heard, due to no more ambulances to transport runners who had collapsed from heat exhaustion...but this may be a runner-rumor.) BSD finished in 4 hrs 19 minutes. We are now recovering in the hotel. Her feet look like I imagine the feet on a long-dead corpse would look...they are white (with a greyish tinge) and wrinkly.
Endurance is an amazing thing. When we set a goal for ourselves, we have to decide, at least on some level, that failure is not an option. We set a course, we prepare ourselves as best as we possibly can, and then we begin.
Congrats to all those who began today. And congrats to those who were able to finish.

Marathon Day!

So, we're about to head over to Grant Park to check beautiful step-daughter (BSD) in for the marathon! We enjoyed being in downtown Chicago last night--lots of healthy people around. I held in my stomach and attempted to look athletic but there is no way that one can fake the marathon runner look.
Before we came to the hotel, we went to an awesome grocery store to pick up snacks. The store was in one of Chicago's ethnic neighborhoods (spanish-speaking) and I ended up having a fantastic time shopping for spices. Dried hibiscus for tea! Every kind of chile I could imagine! And, of course, the votive saint candles. I decided to play it safe and just get the Sacred Heart of Jesus candle. Here's the prayer:
Oh Sacred Heart of Jesus, filled with infinite love, broken by my ingratitude, pierced by my sins, and yet, loving me still, relying on thy promise of infinite charity when you said, "Come to me, all you that labor and are burdened and I will refresh you." I come to thee and in the lowliness of my heart earnestly beg thee to grant me your loving help. Amen. (And then it says underneath that "Make your partition." Not "petition" It says "Partition."
So my partition is that a good time is had by all.
More after the marathon!
Happy running,

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Heading to the Windy City

Heading out to The Windy City for the marathon.
Lest you think for one minute that I'm running the marathon, well, trust me, that ain't happnin.' My philosophy on running is that it's wonderful for others. On the outside chance that each of us is allocated a certain number of steps on this earth, I decided some time ago that I don't want to waste any of mine running. Of course there are exceptions. Like maybe an explosion.
My beautiful step-daughter, however, took up running when she was in middle school and she is simply amazing. She is now a college senior and this is her first marathon. I will be cheering her on and receiving regular text messages on my cell phone updating me on her location throughout the marathon course. So let's keep all of the 40,000 runners in our prayers this weekend, as well as the million people who will be in downtown Chicago supporting them.
Maybe I'll see Oprah!
Keepin' my laces tied tight!
Rev Mutha

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Jesus Bandaids

I love tacky religious stuff. In my office, I have the complete "Wash Away Your Sins" bath and body collection. I have nuns in snow globes, Nunzillas, Miracle-Eyed Jesus, G-Force Jesus, Angel Snot, the gold-fringe pillow with the Last Supper picture on the front that plays "Hey Jude", Last Supper After Dinner mints, tacky lamps, tacky statuary (and some beautiful statuary but hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder) and lots of other treasures that help me not to take myself too seriously.
However, I gotta say, my Jesus Bandaids have a special place in my heart. Every time I get a paper cut, I have a few moments of discernment where I have to decide "Is this truly a serious enough injury to warrant using a Jesus bandaid or would a Garfield bandaid work? I absolutely believe that my Jesus bandaids have special healing powers and I don't want to waste them on superficial cuts/burns/scrapes.
I'm just sayin.
Peace and health,
Rev Mutha

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Keepin' the Family Tree Healthy

I've been stressed out of my mind lately, mainly due to the beginning of school with my two youngish (under 10) daughters, lots of irons in the proverbial fire, and tryin' to balance too many things! And it's makin' me feel terribly fussy and put upon. But today brought me a gift from God in the form of a very vivid image: I saw (in my mind's eye) a large tree, kinda like the beautiful live oaks in the deep South, that was being split apart because of the weight of the branches.
I was humbled and grateful. I realized that much of life is a matter of perception. I also realized that I'm feeling like I'm goin' out on a limb in too many arenas and I need to focus on my own 'trunk'--my core stability--my spiritual health, my physical health, my family, and my congregation, if my tree is going to stay healthy.
I'm not sure what happened in New Orleans with our Episcopal Bishops this past week but I know I'm not real happy with what I've read...And, since I've got lots of non-Episcopal friends/family, my phone was ringing off the hook with folks asking me my reaction. So here it is: I'm not a happy camper. When I hear phrases like "standing together at the foot of the cross" I wonder what that means to the folks sayin' it. I'm incredibly blessed with gay/lesbian/transgender family and friends. I don't think it's okay to withhold blessings. I know gay couples who have been together a lot longer than a number of straight folks I know. I hope my transgender family member finds someone to share his life with and that he will be blessed. I know a number of gay/lesbian priests who will make wonderful bishops. So I pray for the Church. We got some interestin' days ahead!
And here's a shout-out to my fabulous hubby--10 years, Baby! Happy Anniversary. Thanks for the Family Tree we're creatin' together.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Gettin' in the Club

Okay, can someone please send me a gentle reminder on December 25 so that I can join the Rev Gal Pal's Club? Turns out I have to be a blogger for 3 months to apply for membership. At first I was kinda fussy when I read the requirement but then I remembered that it took a heck of a lot longer to go through the ordination process in the Episcopal Church so I decided that if I could navigate that series of hoops, I can navigate this one.
I'm sure it'll be worth the wait...


Demon Dental Hygenist

Big mistake not rescheduling my missed dental appointment for my routine cleaning.
My regular hygienist, may she be blessed upon the earth, was unavailable.
I was scheduled with "Robin" who told me I could call her "Blue Jay."
(She told me this while giggling.)
I now suspect she was hitting the laughing gas before I arrived.
Disclosure: I detest going to the dentist. I can't stand the little scrapey sharp thing on my teeth and I'm not committed to flossing so the hygienist has to use the little scrapey thing a lot. But my regular hygienist knows this and treats me with tender loving care and in exchange I say "God Bless You" (although it sounds more like "Od Esch Ooo") numerous times while I'm in the dentist's chair.
Not so much was I saying that with "Robin."
Many times was I flinching and saying "AAAHHGGG!"
She told me she thought I was overly sensitive.
I said "I ON'T INK O!" (I don't think so.) It was hard to articulate while my blood and saliva were dripping over my lips and her fingers.
It was a bad day.
And y'all gonna have to pray fervently 'cause the xrays showed I have two cavities. My cute dentist (who, at some point, will have to be informed about this sadomasochistic hygienist) told me that they are "little cavities." I said that I will need to be drugged to the teeth (no pun intended) to get back into the dentist's chair. I told him that I will need to be drooling before I ever get into the chair.
Help me, Lord!